Wednesday, 12 September 2012

and i wish can do it better , :' )

emm , guess what ? I felt i am same like a lying piece of shit .
why ? I just dont know what i am going  to do again , my mind empty , my heart  felt empty . 
I felt lost . 
Why cant he just be the kind of guy that make me happy , not the one who's keep on 
hurting me . There's alot of guy outside there wants to be with me .
But i choose him , I dont know why . Being with him makes my day .
Im tired chasing him everyday , being stalker at  his fb account , google about him , 
find out more things about him , thinks alot of things that might make him happy . 
I did all of that and alot of things , why cant he appreciate me ? 
Am i embrassing him ?
Sometimes , I just cant denied that i cant make he happy because , 
Im the type of girl who's just sit at home , studying , reading , and being a nerd at home .
Im not usually goes out , hanging out with friends also being with him . 
Im sorry . I cant be a perfect girlfriends for him .
I just cant stand this anymore , seeing him with other girls having a great conversation 
while with me ? just a simple conversation . makes me sick .
Sometimes , I want to have another boyfriend that can make me felt being need.
But , i just cant . 
I hate myself , .  why cant he just understand what I want . 
maybe , im just too selfish . 
Can i ask u guys about something?
It is wrong if i get jealous because other girls are trying to get his attention?
I know the answer is not . 
I just care too much about him , I also makes a lot of  mistakes .
I dont want other people destroying  our relationship that we've build .
Maybe i just a lil bit childish for him . right ?
Im sorry , from now on i just need to change myself .
Not changing to some else attitude but , I just want to be the new me .
Care too much will hurt u soo much . That's  the points . I wish i cant do better from now .
Next month , i will have big exam . I hope i can do it :) 
Pray for me , God bless u all :)